DLMC - Mon 7 May 07

Sat 3.5 hour today. Didn't take afternoon nap but I'm not the least bit tired. Meditation went well.

Am very impressed (or attached? haha...) with AS - he's so gentle, attentive and observant. Yesterday he handed me a pipe to flow water to the water drain. And it seems that he has actually cleared the dirty mop water that I soaked yesterday. He seems to observe me. At the very least, he noticed me. In fact, all the 3 Thai monks are very kind and gentle. AL handed me a straw to catch small insects with. Luang Por asked me if I have applied the medicine the doctor gave me. Language barrier didn't stand in the way of our communication channel at all. I feel so comfortable and so happy being here, bearing witness to the monks' kindness and gentleness. It makes me feel soft, gentle and kind inside too.

During the period just after Hui Guang shifu left the centre, I had some down period - I thought the time when shifu is not around is gonna be a difficult time for the yogis here: lay support will be lacking, few yogis will come, and I will be left to do all the work. That is not the case at all. In fact, Hui Guang Shi's absence seems to be a blessing in disguise: I come to understand and come into closer contact wiht the monks.

Am contemplating "Bi Guan" again but I think I won't do it this time. Everything out ehre is just the conditions I need for my practice to florish: the presence of the Sangha, communal practice, group meditation, morning and evening chanting, and opportunity to serve the centre and the Sangha. Also, this is the perfect condtion to train up all-round round-the-clock mindfulness. That said, I have got to straighten up my discipline: talk little, eat little, sleep little, work a lot, meditate a lot. The conditions out here give me a lot of reasons to rejoice and be happy, and that is what I need for my meditation. My mind settles down pretty easily. I just have to watch out for frivolous talks - an unnecessary waste of time.

I want to, and need to, refine my behavior: don't laugh too loudly, walk slowly and gently, don't eat while standing, be mindful all the time.

Dealing with greed for food :my mind gave me the answer last night - contemplate on the drawbacks of the food, the repulsiveness of food. I shall try to work on it.