Been away for quite a while and haven't been updating this blog for a long while. =) I wrote some notes in my recent retreat in Api-Api, Pontian, recording the difficulties I faced in the course of my practice, insights that come along, and my states of mind at that point in time.
Reading through my notes, I noticed a pattern: certain themes are mentioned again and again, like mindfulness and loving kindness; and certain things observed over time turned out to be an insight, like the value of contentment. There're difficulties that I face and over time and through experiments, find the answers or solutions of. On the whole, it serves to remind me of what went through my mind at that point in time, what are the challenges I face and how I work on them. I could well summarized whatever I've picked up throughout the process, but I choose to re-write them the way I have written them -- in the language I talk to myself, trying to be as faithful to myself as possible.
It's my own defilements that I'm working against here, and I do not want to hide them but lay them out in the open so that everyone can see, so that the kilesas can exercise a little bit sense of restraint. Should any knowledgeable person come across this blog and wish to offer words of caution, advice, insights, and admonition, you are most welcomed to do so. I need sandpaper to smoothen my rough edges. =)
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