Havenangh House, Singapore. Sun 10 Jun 2007

Did a half-hour swim with J today. All the while I have always swum with googles on, so when I first went down to the water, immediately fear struck me -- fear that I would not be able to do away with googles. Now it seems that fear comes from perception, but that perception is illusory at best and false at worst.

Start to do absorption again after being encouraged by Waichong. Previously it didn't seem to be the case, but now it seems rather obvious that it is doubt that stood in the way of a good absorption.

Ven. Kaizhao named me "Saccanama" as my buddhist name. Of late, the quality of sacca keeps reverberating in the mind. Once I have made a determination to do something, there is also accompanying decision and desire to fulfill it. As of now, this quality of sacca is still very weak. I made unrealistic resolve to do something, only to break it later because I was unable to fulfill it.

This afternoon I ate after 12pm. Actually I have already decided not to eat as it is alreaady past the allowable eating time. Yet when J brought me to a restaurant I just followed suit and just ate. That is how far my resolve brought me. Shall work on this. Remember the Bodhisatta can give up his life for the sake of keepinga pure unblemished precepts. Taking him as my role model, I shall strive to do likewise.

Manage to meditate 4 times today: 1/2 hour in the morning, some time in BL, 1 hour in the afternoon, and 45 min in the evening. The short duration is due to the body's fatigue. Nevertheless, I manage to keep to my determination.

I feel very energized after chanting. All the body's fatique seems to disappear, and the mind is in very good state.

Reflected on mosquitoes: They are very good teachers. And they give me lotsa opportunities to do dana too. Because of the unpleasant after-effect of their bites, the mind has to learn to be paitent, to accept the itchty sensation and to radiate metta towards them. The frequency of their bites means ample opportunity to practice in DLMC.

Today I remembered the person whom I believe has cheated me and many others. I thought this man has a good talent, unfortunately he doesn't use it wisely. He is harming himself without knowing it by accumulating unwhilesome kamma. As I thought of him, I naturally wish him to be well and happy. There was no ill will at all. I know I was cheated, but it is ok. It's ok because throughout the process of buying the good (being aware that he may be cheating me) to finding out that I am indeed being cheated, there was no unwholesome thoughts arising in me. I attributed this natural tendency to wish for the well-being of the man who has cheated me to the training I've got from teacher mosquitoes.